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Things they don’t teach in school #1

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Things they don't teach in school #1

3 weeks ago 3 weeks ago

Things they don’t teach in school #1

by Johnny Alpha 3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

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Pffft… as if those BMW drivers would use their turn signal
Feeding booths
Apparently, ‘God’ has a plan…… *sigh* Please leave me out of it all
The sizes check out
As fortold
Waaait a minute… has that lamp always been aroused?
I don’t brielieve it.
Exceptional roosters 🐓
😴
Veterans of Tazmania
Pfft, 1+2+3 = 6 glasses of wine
That is the question…..
Not quite as romantic as you might think from the first sentence…
“There is always a choice.”
It’s too late for this Brian

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Pffft… as if those BMW drivers would use...

Pffft… as if those BMW drivers would use...
Feeding booths

Feeding booths
Apparently, ‘God’ has a plan…… *sigh* Please leave...

Apparently, ‘God’ has a plan…… *sigh* Please leave...
The sizes check out

The sizes check out
As fortold

As fortold
Waaait a minute… has that lamp always been...

Waaait a minute… has that lamp always been...
I don’t brielieve it.

I don’t brielieve it.
Exceptional roosters 🐓

Exceptional roosters 🐓
😴

😴
Veterans of Tazmania

Veterans of Tazmania
Pfft, 1+2+3 = 6 glasses of wine

Pfft, 1+2+3 = 6 glasses of wine
That is the question…..

That is the question…..
Not quite as romantic as you might think...

Not quite as romantic as you might think...
“There is always a choice.”

“There is always a choice.”
It’s too late for this Brian

It’s too late for this Brian
What an absolute dingus

What an absolute dingus
Shoot them both just to be sure

Shoot them both just to be sure
The real mastermind shows himself

The real mastermind shows himself
When your credit card declines

When your credit card declines
Thinkin’ ‘bout lunch.

Thinkin’ ‘bout lunch.
How emusing

How emusing
Steve is suspicious

Steve is suspicious
Can’t detain murder suspects without probable caws.

Can’t detain murder suspects without probable caws.
Wait, why?

Wait, why?
My favorite vegetable is Oreo.

My favorite vegetable is Oreo.
*Groans in wookie*

*Groans in wookie*
Hello 911, There’s a handsome bird in my...

Hello 911, There’s a handsome bird in my...
B-e-a-utiful

B-e-a-utiful
I’d be gutted to.

I’d be gutted to.
What’s the opposide of a green thumb?

What’s the opposide of a green thumb?
That figures

That figures
This person should perform in my local comedy...

This person should perform in my local comedy...
No need to remind me

No need to remind me
Does anyone have a preference?

Does anyone have a preference?
…Why does it have a trailer hitch?

…Why does it have a trailer hitch?
Looks like Grandma is gonna run over some...

Looks like Grandma is gonna run over some...
So, born in Wisconsin.

So, born in Wisconsin.
Along with avian flu, swine flu making a...

Along with avian flu, swine flu making a...
Well that makes sense.

Well that makes sense.
Retired jokes #469

Retired jokes #469
Looks legit.

Looks legit.
#Metoo

#Metoo
aaand today it decided we deserved some rain...

aaand today it decided we deserved some rain...
Paul Simon’s famous song about getting old. ....

Paul Simon’s famous song about getting old. ....
Projects

Projects
April 25th

April 25th
They’ve got me pegged.

They’ve got me pegged.
Johnsooooooooon!

Johnsooooooooon!
Unbunlievable

Unbunlievable
I AM THE ADMIN

I AM THE ADMIN
What do those quacks think they are doing?

What do those quacks think they are doing?
Only Justin’s will understand

Only Justin’s will understand
I want a barbecue squirrel now…..

I want a barbecue squirrel now…..
I wonder why they call him that?

I wonder why they call him that?
That’s the moment he knew, he f’d up

That’s the moment he knew, he f’d up
Sometimes you gotta light up their world with...

Sometimes you gotta light up their world with...
Ahaha haha ha

Ahaha haha ha
Jeff will never give them peace

Jeff will never give them peace
That’s what cats do…

That’s what cats do…
And that’s how the fight started

And that’s how the fight started
Both work perfectly

Both work perfectly
I’d say they handled it well

I’d say they handled it well
Can I get that last one on-the-go?

Can I get that last one on-the-go?
Thanks, you too

Thanks, you too
I am this goat

I am this goat
A surprise indeed

A surprise indeed
And that’s why I have anger issues

And that’s why I have anger issues
Trying to cheer up a sad friend

Trying to cheer up a sad friend
🔪🦆

🔪🦆
Feeling a little unhinged

Feeling a little unhinged
Ceci n’est pas une bug

Ceci n’est pas une bug
I’ll take the extra strong one please

I’ll take the extra strong one please
He was right there..!

He was right there..!
Hence the term ‘jugs’

Hence the term ‘jugs’
Abort!

Abort!
…I like being the wizard.

…I like being the wizard.
I mean, his armor has a skull on...

I mean, his armor has a skull on...
🤷‍♂️

🤷‍♂️
Life is soup, I am fork

Life is soup, I am fork
Probably should’ve been an email.

Probably should’ve been an email.
We know what you meant

We know what you meant
Meanwhile, inside my brain…

Meanwhile, inside my brain…
I’d watch that movie.

I’d watch that movie.
Ribbitting

Ribbitting
Deduct went through defense with defeat before detail.

Deduct went through defense with defeat before detail.
We should give thanks for what we are...

We should give thanks for what we are...
Not even death can change who you are

Not even death can change who you are
IPv6 compliant?

IPv6 compliant?
When crazy meets crazier :)

When crazy meets crazier :)
Hang 10, bro!

Hang 10, bro!
*Whistle*

*Whistle*
Gotta make sure it still works

Gotta make sure it still works
Fancy

Fancy
SOMEbody is getting grounded

SOMEbody is getting grounded
Well, I will try

Well, I will try
Again?

Again?
🔥_🔥

🔥_🔥
Ah!

Ah!
My Bad…

My Bad…
Ah, but you said WITH a horse, not...

Ah, but you said WITH a horse, not...

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