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Dad joke #989

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Dad joke #989

2 years ago 2 years ago

Dad joke #989

by perthaussieguy 2 years ago2 years ago

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Pushing TOP 2000 ;)
The purple areas are where people were kung fu fighting
Give it a wave, ‘cos it’s waving to you :)
5th December Christmas Song – one of my favourite compilations
My spirit animal
The pages just turn so smoothly
What’d you do that fur?
💛
Me at every office job
Higher age recommended
4th December Christmas song
I’m just gonna sit here and think about it
Her way sounds more fun
I’d probably absent-mindedly leave for a snack
Reasonable
Sounds about right
Pee nuts?
3rd December Christmas song – this one released 41 years ago today
Gotta earn your keep
Funny to everyone but one
Every single one!
Cinco de Mayo decor
But boss, it’s 4:59
Beautiful
2nd December Xmas song

Pushing TOP 2000 ;)

Pushing TOP 2000 ;)
The purple areas are where people were kung...

The purple areas are where people were kung...
Give it a wave, ‘cos it’s waving to...

Give it a wave, ‘cos it’s waving to...
5th December Christmas Song – one of my...

5th December Christmas Song – one of my...
My spirit animal

My spirit animal
The pages just turn so smoothly

The pages just turn so smoothly
What’d you do that fur?

What’d you do that fur?
💛

💛
Me at every office job

Me at every office job
Higher age recommended

Higher age recommended
4th December Christmas song

4th December Christmas song
I’m just gonna sit here and think about...

I’m just gonna sit here and think about...
Her way sounds more fun

Her way sounds more fun
I’d probably absent-mindedly leave for a snack

I’d probably absent-mindedly leave for a snack
Reasonable

Reasonable
Sounds about right

Sounds about right
Pee nuts?

Pee nuts?
3rd December Christmas song – this one released...

3rd December Christmas song – this one released...
Gotta earn your keep

Gotta earn your keep
Funny to everyone but one

Funny to everyone but one
Every single one!

Every single one!
Cinco de Mayo decor

Cinco de Mayo decor
But boss, it’s 4:59

But boss, it’s 4:59
Beautiful

Beautiful
2nd December Xmas song

2nd December Xmas song
Are you sure that’s my job?

Are you sure that’s my job?
Wait a minute… one of these doesn’t have...

Wait a minute… one of these doesn’t have...
Woah, hey, don’t give them any ideas

Woah, hey, don’t give them any ideas
Star Trek could have been SO MUCH more...

Star Trek could have been SO MUCH more...
Agreed

Agreed
Dec 1st here as I post this –...

Dec 1st here as I post this –...
Or where

Or where
“Where did my car go?”

“Where did my car go?”
Crappy design

Crappy design
Should slide right out

Should slide right out
And buy yourself some earplugs too

And buy yourself some earplugs too
Gamer dad

Gamer dad
Always with the glasses

Always with the glasses
Every. Day.

Every. Day.
Understandable

Understandable
I do what I want *thonk*

I do what I want *thonk*
Ends up being happy

Ends up being happy
That was quick

That was quick
50 Shades Of Earl Grey

50 Shades Of Earl Grey
They were kind of acting up

They were kind of acting up
Watch out! It has a motion sensor

Watch out! It has a motion sensor
Nobody said I had to try it today

Nobody said I had to try it today
Again?

Again?
She’s also talking down to you

She’s also talking down to you
Didn’t know fish could do that

Didn’t know fish could do that
Run away!

Run away!
Gotta keep it authentic

Gotta keep it authentic
This is a troubling statistic.

This is a troubling statistic.
He swears it just magic

He swears it just magic
Awkwaaaaard

Awkwaaaaard
Straight to the point

Straight to the point
They’re just babelling to themselves

They’re just babelling to themselves
Seems like he’s in a bit of hot...

Seems like he’s in a bit of hot...
Ohhhhhh, in that direction

Ohhhhhh, in that direction
Henry was a chimney sweep in a past...

Henry was a chimney sweep in a past...
That your microwave never warms up the middle...

That your microwave never warms up the middle...
I could spend hours watching

I could spend hours watching
Huzzah!

Huzzah!
Susan just doesn’t get it

Susan just doesn’t get it
Stop staring

Stop staring
And this one’s lumpy

And this one’s lumpy
I’ll do what I want

I’ll do what I want
Just like sitting in a theater

Just like sitting in a theater
They did not sea it coming

They did not sea it coming
Of cooourse I’ll floss every day starting now

Of cooourse I’ll floss every day starting now
I must be too talented then

I must be too talented then
It’s been a long day

It’s been a long day
Must have Prime

Must have Prime
The GOAT

The GOAT
You just need to worry when you start...

You just need to worry when you start...
Yup

Yup
Yeah that sounds right

Yeah that sounds right
At 5.15PM on 23rd November, 1963, the very...

At 5.15PM on 23rd November, 1963, the very...
Sea kitty

Sea kitty
Utterly fabulous

Utterly fabulous
And a drink

And a drink
Not enough parmesan

Not enough parmesan
So (ch)easy

So (ch)easy
I feel seen…now I’m annoyed

I feel seen…now I’m annoyed
Smart men, Gary and Thag’s friend

Smart men, Gary and Thag’s friend
They made you LITERALLY look like a dick!

They made you LITERALLY look like a dick!
I need to read these more carefully next...

I need to read these more carefully next...
I cannot understand why they are not pets...

I cannot understand why they are not pets...
Not with that attitude….

Not with that attitude….
I’m looking out for number 1.

I’m looking out for number 1.
Fun fact, I don’t like this game

Fun fact, I don’t like this game
We want to watch the world burn.

We want to watch the world burn.
Yeah, totally

Yeah, totally
The circle of life

The circle of life
Why would I buy something less yummy?

Why would I buy something less yummy?
Best of friends

Best of friends
It’s so easy to write

It’s so easy to write
Festive Season treats. None of your old fashioned...

Festive Season treats. None of your old fashioned...
Perhaps it was on ‘Same Day Delivery’ but...

Perhaps it was on ‘Same Day Delivery’ but...
Sounds like a concerning amount of spiders

Sounds like a concerning amount of spiders

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