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Say it quickly

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Say it quickly

7 months ago 7 months ago

Say it quickly

by Johnny Alpha 7 months ago7 months ago

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Please…?
I looked in the mirror and checked. . yep. It’s true. That’s what I look like
A little late in seeing this now, but would have been great at the time
I have no idea what for but still
This is about how I feel getting out of bed in the morning
Protected by the hoMEOWner’s association
Thank goodness they started with water balloons
So that’s how bagpipes were invented
The doctor says whatever you do, do not put baby oil on it
She’s batting a homer
Fast typing
Trying to name such a thing is consuming way too much of my brain power right now
Don’t forget the biting though
Dang, and all this time I’ve been using fries and scotch!
I have no idea what’s going on but I want to visit this place for a short vacation
Hold on, did anyone bring a UV flashlight?
It’s after 6pm as I post this, so time to crack a tinny :)
Would it work for you? Personally, I’m not too sure about heading back to the future
Date for processing: Tomorrow
I’m on board.

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Please…?

Please…?
I looked in the mirror and checked. ....

I looked in the mirror and checked. ....
A little late in seeing this now, but...

A little late in seeing this now, but...
I have no idea what for but still

I have no idea what for but still
This is about how I feel getting out...

This is about how I feel getting out...
Protected by the hoMEOWner’s association

Protected by the hoMEOWner’s association
Thank goodness they started with water balloons

Thank goodness they started with water balloons
So that’s how bagpipes were invented

So that’s how bagpipes were invented
The doctor says whatever you do, do not...

The doctor says whatever you do, do not...
She’s batting a homer

She’s batting a homer
Fast typing

Fast typing
Trying to name such a thing is consuming...

Trying to name such a thing is consuming...
Don’t forget the biting though

Don’t forget the biting though
Dang, and all this time I’ve been using...

Dang, and all this time I’ve been using...
I have no idea what’s going on but...

I have no idea what’s going on but...
Hold on, did anyone bring a UV flashlight?

Hold on, did anyone bring a UV flashlight?
It’s after 6pm as I post this, so...

It’s after 6pm as I post this, so...
Would it work for you? Personally, I’m not...

Would it work for you? Personally, I’m not...
Date for processing: Tomorrow

Date for processing: Tomorrow
I’m on board.

I’m on board.
I’m too lazy to convert this to an...

I’m too lazy to convert this to an...
Whiskey sours tonight?

Whiskey sours tonight?
You’ve got to fight for your right to...

You’ve got to fight for your right to...
And give me back that pumpkin! I’ve seen...

And give me back that pumpkin! I’ve seen...
Save this one for places where swearing is...

Save this one for places where swearing is...
Yup….. school year is in full swing

Yup….. school year is in full swing
I still wonder if the couple taking photos...

I still wonder if the couple taking photos...
Mainly applies to politicians. (But isn’t this giving...

Mainly applies to politicians. (But isn’t this giving...
Now make them do the Thriller dance!!!

Now make them do the Thriller dance!!!
Vote below: “BLEAHRHRHHG” or “SHLOROOOPPP”?

Vote below: “BLEAHRHRHHG” or “SHLOROOOPPP”?
Load dumpers will be prosecuted

Load dumpers will be prosecuted
Please, I know where everything is, stop moving...

Please, I know where everything is, stop moving...
Always one nearby

Always one nearby
Red Beard, standing by

Red Beard, standing by
BULK BARN IS DANGEROUS BECAUSE THERE’S A WHOLE...

BULK BARN IS DANGEROUS BECAUSE THERE’S A WHOLE...
She needs to speak to Counsellor Troy.

She needs to speak to Counsellor Troy.
I just want to click OUT of this...

I just want to click OUT of this...
Honestly, compares favourably with most of the early...

Honestly, compares favourably with most of the early...
I had a dream…. *crowd cheering*

I had a dream…. *crowd cheering*
Can I speak to the archivist?

Can I speak to the archivist?
What do you mean, ‘your dad’, it’s my...

What do you mean, ‘your dad’, it’s my...
Lord Ingtar when he goes out to delay...

Lord Ingtar when he goes out to delay...
I always knew that pilsner has a suspicious...

I always knew that pilsner has a suspicious...
You’ve got flashers and then you’ve got flashers

You’ve got flashers and then you’ve got flashers
Some people give weird instructions

Some people give weird instructions
No, ignorance of the speed limit is not...

No, ignorance of the speed limit is not...
Honey, your slip is showing.

Honey, your slip is showing.
Time alone together

Time alone together
A bit of nostalgia

A bit of nostalgia
Every now and again, remember to replace the...

Every now and again, remember to replace the...
No wonder they make me sick!

No wonder they make me sick!
When I was about 12 I managed to...

When I was about 12 I managed to...
Aw it’s a sweet boopsie sleeby baby that’s...

Aw it’s a sweet boopsie sleeby baby that’s...
At least the picture’s subject is in frame

At least the picture’s subject is in frame
It’s going to suck when they go metric

It’s going to suck when they go metric
Someone messed with Texas.

Someone messed with Texas.
That short-tempered butthead!

That short-tempered butthead!
A high fibre diet has to be continued...

A high fibre diet has to be continued...
For Pags

For Pags
That was Thursday

That was Thursday
Oi! Schrödinger, yer cat escaped again.

Oi! Schrödinger, yer cat escaped again.
You’re welcome

You’re welcome
Ta-da!

Ta-da!
Oh dear!

Oh dear!
They were playing eerie music, too!

They were playing eerie music, too!
“Enrage Mailbox”

“Enrage Mailbox”
And it won’t cost you a stack o...

And it won’t cost you a stack o...
Honestly, I’d just give up at that point.

Honestly, I’d just give up at that point.
It’s the principle of the thing.

It’s the principle of the thing.
A dandy choice

A dandy choice
I do love an occasional Boston Creme pie.

I do love an occasional Boston Creme pie.
Don’t forget “scream whenever you want”

Don’t forget “scream whenever you want”
I think I downloaded the wrong movie, but...

I think I downloaded the wrong movie, but...
Spaceman!

Spaceman!
This old classic was circulating again, so y’all...

This old classic was circulating again, so y’all...
What Comes Next Will Surprise You!

What Comes Next Will Surprise You!
When asked why, Putin mumbled something about stopping...

When asked why, Putin mumbled something about stopping...
Pass it here, I’ll solve the problem. Interpret...

Pass it here, I’ll solve the problem. Interpret...
[Warning: one bad word at the end.]

[Warning: one bad word at the end.]
Burn

Burn
Cheat codes

Cheat codes
DIY kaleidoscope

DIY kaleidoscope
Whoopsies

Whoopsies
It’s an option at least. Not necessarily one...

It’s an option at least. Not necessarily one...
Oddly, a problem both in full sized AND...

Oddly, a problem both in full sized AND...
They’re fresh, I promise

They’re fresh, I promise
I thought he was an experienced poll vaulter

I thought he was an experienced poll vaulter
I think it’s called ‘ignoring the problem.’

I think it’s called ‘ignoring the problem.’
Tatered fresh from the garden actually

Tatered fresh from the garden actually
This might ruffle a few feathers… but what...

This might ruffle a few feathers… but what...
Wasps this time! Surprise!

Wasps this time! Surprise!
Where’s daddy?

Where’s daddy?
Aka hurt people twice as hard

Aka hurt people twice as hard
Or chocolate or honey or …

Or chocolate or honey or …
Toast. It does kinda make sense though.

Toast. It does kinda make sense though.
At the cannibal takeaway and all the ribs...

At the cannibal takeaway and all the ribs...
Any other question than that

Any other question than that
Before Starbucks was invented

Before Starbucks was invented
Everytime

Everytime
Here’s another one (thanks to Val1 for the...

Here’s another one (thanks to Val1 for the...

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