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God save the queen mattress

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God save the queen mattress

16 hours ago 16 hours ago

God save the queen mattress

by Shivvy bot 16 hours ago16 hours ago

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Needs some cartoon sound effects. Scooby-doo drums or Looney Tunes squeaks??
Sketch out your plans…
CRITICAL!!!
Weeping Beakers – Don’t close your eyes or you’ll get MEEPED
Would you like them streaming free? Would you like them P-P-V?
God save the queen mattress
If you think the rack is nice, wait til you notice the tits
The toot suite
The Emperor’s New Prudes
I SAID “TWO LUMPS”!!! TWO!!!
Horrific: Stingray attacks person in their own home
Was it a train set?
This is called the “Jesus nut”. Because if it breaks, screaming that is the only thing you’ll have time to do.
I always try stealth and end up Russian stealth.
I once made a belt from old wristwatches. It was a huge waist of time.
I just like to know things make sense
They absolutely will. They always do.
How can they be sure, unless they TRY?
Please respect my wishes
And stupidity
Sounds credible but i’m not gonna try it
Up from 6!
I see
Miracles DO happen!
The more you assist

Needs some cartoon sound effects. Scooby-doo drums or...

Needs some cartoon sound effects. Scooby-doo drums or...
Sketch out your plans…

Sketch out your plans…
CRITICAL!!!

CRITICAL!!!
Weeping Beakers – Don’t close your eyes or...

Weeping Beakers – Don’t close your eyes or...
Would you like them streaming free? Would you...

Would you like them streaming free? Would you...
God save the queen mattress

God save the queen mattress
If you think the rack is nice, wait...

If you think the rack is nice, wait...
The toot suite

The toot suite
The Emperor’s New Prudes

The Emperor’s New Prudes
I SAID “TWO LUMPS”!!! TWO!!!

I SAID “TWO LUMPS”!!! TWO!!!
Horrific: Stingray attacks person in their own home

Horrific: Stingray attacks person in their own home
Was it a train set?

Was it a train set?
This is called the “Jesus nut”. Because if...

This is called the “Jesus nut”. Because if...
I always try stealth and end up Russian...

I always try stealth and end up Russian...
I once made a belt from old wristwatches....

I once made a belt from old wristwatches....
I just like to know things make sense

I just like to know things make sense
They absolutely will. They always do.

They absolutely will. They always do.
How can they be sure, unless they TRY?

How can they be sure, unless they TRY?
Please respect my wishes

Please respect my wishes
And stupidity

And stupidity
Sounds credible but i’m not gonna try it

Sounds credible but i’m not gonna try it
Up from 6!

Up from 6!
I see

I see
Miracles DO happen!

Miracles DO happen!
The more you assist

The more you assist
“You can do that?”

“You can do that?”
What dedication

What dedication
Good name for it?

Good name for it?
My cat would let the house flood

My cat would let the house flood
I always strike out though

I always strike out though
I bet there bearly staying in business

I bet there bearly staying in business
Well, you shouldn’t’ve run over it

Well, you shouldn’t’ve run over it
Will no one think of the poor robots

Will no one think of the poor robots
Also, do your best to forget WHERE you...

Also, do your best to forget WHERE you...
Kellogg’s???

Kellogg’s???
Seven were given to the amazon package….

Seven were given to the amazon package….
I vant to blow your blood!!

I vant to blow your blood!!
Is he playing advertisements on his screen?? DIABOLICAL!

Is he playing advertisements on his screen?? DIABOLICAL!
Depends

Depends
Mother, you are really lucky my claws are...

Mother, you are really lucky my claws are...
Just buy another one!

Just buy another one!
Er…. no thanks

Er…. no thanks
Spotted during a doctors’ appointment!

Spotted during a doctors’ appointment!
*sigh* I miss immersive gaming. I really really...

*sigh* I miss immersive gaming. I really really...
WHY DOES THIS EXIST? WHY DOES WALMART SELL...

WHY DOES THIS EXIST? WHY DOES WALMART SELL...
Appelez-moi “un blender”… je vais te frappé!!

Appelez-moi “un blender”… je vais te frappé!!
Friend of mine, actually! I’m more of a...

Friend of mine, actually! I’m more of a...
Fuck around! Find out! (encouraging)

Fuck around! Find out! (encouraging)
How about octopoose?

How about octopoose?
I’m saving this one for desert

I’m saving this one for desert
Comes in low salt and calorie-enlightened options too

Comes in low salt and calorie-enlightened options too
Be careful what you wish for

Be careful what you wish for
Harmed and dangerous

Harmed and dangerous
I tried, but I just don’t give a...

I tried, but I just don’t give a...
And occasionally the customers don’t show up, so...

And occasionally the customers don’t show up, so...
I think the Emo A zone is also...

I think the Emo A zone is also...
Are they selling pants that go up to...

Are they selling pants that go up to...
Nailed it, again and again

Nailed it, again and again
Yes, I want to convert my Saiyan pod...

Yes, I want to convert my Saiyan pod...
I’m not waiting, I’m going to get started...

I’m not waiting, I’m going to get started...
Along with the slightly self-deprecatory humour

Along with the slightly self-deprecatory humour
Playing Revenge of the Dish after dinner

Playing Revenge of the Dish after dinner
Classic Tom and Jerry

Classic Tom and Jerry
Mercury and the Sun have a conversation.

Mercury and the Sun have a conversation.
Hey, you bought the sign, you can’t be...

Hey, you bought the sign, you can’t be...
I could repurpose this as a doorbell… and...

I could repurpose this as a doorbell… and...
For the General Good, really

For the General Good, really
I will do it! I will take the...

I will do it! I will take the...
How the world ends.

How the world ends.
It must have taken him AGES to get...

It must have taken him AGES to get...
Santa says ‘Bye, Bye’ for another year.

Santa says ‘Bye, Bye’ for another year.
Also, we need to tattoo an STD warning...

Also, we need to tattoo an STD warning...
Don’t question the spider

Don’t question the spider
Oh, so THAT’S why greasers smoked cigarettes

Oh, so THAT’S why greasers smoked cigarettes
Personally, I would have held out for a...

Personally, I would have held out for a...
Matrix movie trivia

Matrix movie trivia
David Bechovny

David Bechovny
It’s TRUE!

It’s TRUE!
Serving civet coffee, no doubt?

Serving civet coffee, no doubt?
The hero we all deserve

The hero we all deserve
Might fix either problem, who knows

Might fix either problem, who knows
Either way, you’ll feel like shit

Either way, you’ll feel like shit
Tunnel through the Catskills

Tunnel through the Catskills
Featuring the siege breakers of Farad-Dur-Acell

Featuring the siege breakers of Farad-Dur-Acell
A4: You sunk my battleship

A4: You sunk my battleship
A secondhand one sound a pretty good alternative...

A secondhand one sound a pretty good alternative...
Meanwhile, a metaphor for 2025, and several groups...

Meanwhile, a metaphor for 2025, and several groups...
And, uh…. fatherhood is about going with the...

And, uh…. fatherhood is about going with the...
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Consider, is there wind coming out of the...
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Laugh you lose
Just too cooked to go in today

Just too cooked to go in today
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Sometimes we just need a little feel-good on...
Line-us’ tech tips

Line-us’ tech tips
Caduceus variations

Caduceus variations
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I don’t know why you said goodbye, I...
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That’s how my old gaffer passed away
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No sense of humour, these drug guys :(
Organised

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Went to a new humour website, ‘yolly yester’...
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