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Bert’s Books

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Bert's Books

7 months ago 7 months ago

Bert’s Books

by Shivvy bot 7 months ago7 months ago

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Recent Posts

Hand me Down’s?
No reason, Mom. Just watching.
Hot take
Particularly their butts.
Curses! Foiled again.
Put this one in the family albumen
Well, roll higher next time.
It has a guard, it’s safe
I used to get my groceries in plastic bags and used them as trash bags!!
A Lion and Prejudice
It’s just missing a catapult
Now THAT is way cool !!
Sorry…😂
Free Lil homie he aint do nothing
Just gonna try and sneak by her…
Whoever named this was an idiot
The USB curse. You know the one I am talking about.
*Wipes tears with dollar bills*
I thought it already was..?
When your bike doesn’t purr…
That’s just how I roll
I’m so impressed that I’ll shit bricks
CO-dependency
Including LolColl, I’m sorry to say. :C
Hmph, this skipped over the part where cats have to shed on it

Hand me Down’s?

Hand me Down’s?
No reason, Mom. Just watching.

No reason, Mom. Just watching.
Hot take

Hot take
Particularly their butts.

Particularly their butts.
Curses! Foiled again.

Curses! Foiled again.
Put this one in the family albumen

Put this one in the family albumen
Well, roll higher next time.

Well, roll higher next time.
It has a guard, it’s safe

It has a guard, it’s safe
I used to get my groceries in plastic...

I used to get my groceries in plastic...
A Lion and Prejudice

A Lion and Prejudice
It’s just missing a catapult

It’s just missing a catapult
Now THAT is way cool !!

Now THAT is way cool !!
Sorry…😂

Sorry…😂
Free Lil homie he aint do nothing

Free Lil homie he aint do nothing
Just gonna try and sneak by her…

Just gonna try and sneak by her…
Whoever named this was an idiot

Whoever named this was an idiot
The USB curse. You know the one I...

The USB curse. You know the one I...
*Wipes tears with dollar bills*

*Wipes tears with dollar bills*
I thought it already was..?

I thought it already was..?
When your bike doesn’t purr…

When your bike doesn’t purr…
That’s just how I roll

That’s just how I roll
I’m so impressed that I’ll shit bricks

I’m so impressed that I’ll shit bricks
CO-dependency

CO-dependency
Including LolColl, I’m sorry to say. :C

Including LolColl, I’m sorry to say. :C
Hmph, this skipped over the part where cats...

Hmph, this skipped over the part where cats...
What a blockhead

What a blockhead
Oddly specific….

Oddly specific….
Some people just have too much time on...

Some people just have too much time on...
I, too, watched Shrek

I, too, watched Shrek
Plating: zero points, failure! You do not advance...

Plating: zero points, failure! You do not advance...
Bink-shwoop!

Bink-shwoop!
Great, now I want a toblerone, too

Great, now I want a toblerone, too
I have an inexplicable desire for a fruit...

I have an inexplicable desire for a fruit...
Be grateful I did not ankle it further

Be grateful I did not ankle it further
Oh goody, it’s that day of the week!

Oh goody, it’s that day of the week!
What if I have it with a spoon...

What if I have it with a spoon...
Vote to decarbonaraise simple possession

Vote to decarbonaraise simple possession
I’ll take three blankets, a hot chocolate with...

I’ll take three blankets, a hot chocolate with...
Give a hoot

Give a hoot
Parallel, or two-point?

Parallel, or two-point?
I’VE JUST ABOUT McFUCKING HAD IT WITH YOU….

I’VE JUST ABOUT McFUCKING HAD IT WITH YOU….
I mean, I’m already living fast, so I’m...

I mean, I’m already living fast, so I’m...
Time for a Cousteau living adjustment

Time for a Cousteau living adjustment
I guess that explains it

I guess that explains it
An Unexpected Journey

An Unexpected Journey
PANCAKE INDUCED GLEE

PANCAKE INDUCED GLEE
I’m a docked oar, not a dock, taur!

I’m a docked oar, not a dock, taur!
Don’t soil your jockeys

Don’t soil your jockeys
And then it evolves into a combine harvester,...

And then it evolves into a combine harvester,...
Oldie but a goodie

Oldie but a goodie
Worthy of the crime

Worthy of the crime
Me too pal, me too.

Me too pal, me too.
Last, Pass the test

Last, Pass the test
Aaaaand this is how we end up with...

Aaaaand this is how we end up with...
I’ve heard food service workers often use cocaine

I’ve heard food service workers often use cocaine
That’ll sho yu

That’ll sho yu
Stealing this one

Stealing this one
Somewhere, it’s not Good Friday but BAD Friday

Somewhere, it’s not Good Friday but BAD Friday
Can someone try this and tell me if...

Can someone try this and tell me if...
Every little bit helps

Every little bit helps
Damn cockroaches just get everywhere!

Damn cockroaches just get everywhere!
May this peace be with you.

May this peace be with you.
Yup

Yup
Lovely bunch of coconuts

Lovely bunch of coconuts
Yeah

Yeah
Who? Totally not me.

Who? Totally not me.
If password requirements were a shirt

If password requirements were a shirt
I hope this might raise a slight smile...

I hope this might raise a slight smile...
Totally an active choice and not just that...

Totally an active choice and not just that...
Getting Into My Wife’s Furry Fanny

Getting Into My Wife’s Furry Fanny
He went to his friends house and they...

He went to his friends house and they...
They got another one

They got another one
I’m not and saw that for a second

I’m not and saw that for a second
That math checks out

That math checks out
I wonder too.

I wonder too.
He obviously had to dig deep for this...

He obviously had to dig deep for this...
McDone with the names

McDone with the names
Sounds like fun to me

Sounds like fun to me
A hint of a flavour

A hint of a flavour
Babe, you got a tail that just don’t...

Babe, you got a tail that just don’t...
Good call

Good call
They’re funny, I swear

They’re funny, I swear
Understandable reaction.

Understandable reaction.
Peed, peed and peed.

Peed, peed and peed.
Let him in so he can learn how...

Let him in so he can learn how...
I know a few people who need this…

I know a few people who need this…
Music as a travel guide on how to...

Music as a travel guide on how to...
I blame Debbie

I blame Debbie
But I also like to stay up doing...

But I also like to stay up doing...
He can never learn

He can never learn
Announce it on the rooftops!

Announce it on the rooftops!
They delivered a great prank

They delivered a great prank
Unforgivable

Unforgivable
The guy was too happy to say that

The guy was too happy to say that
It lets you taste colours

It lets you taste colours
take risk

take risk
Monk-ey business

Monk-ey business
Uh oh…

Uh oh…
Yes, you can.

Yes, you can.
I’m dying to know what happened

I’m dying to know what happened

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