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Stay safe, watch out for your neighbors, and leave your...

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Stay safe, watch out for your neighbors, and leave your phone at home

4 weeks ago 4 weeks ago

Stay safe, watch out for your neighbors, and leave your phone at home

by Shivvy bot 4 weeks ago4 weeks ago

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Works every time
I would retaliate with my own
Pass
I cut my own hair
He didn’t get the smile he was looking for
The cat knew what was coming…
Oh. Oh no.
He’s just made it through a hairy situation
Delicious!
Wait, no, nevermind. They ducked it up.
He also gets tired really quickly
🐓🍭
I’m tired of knowing more
And getting paid for it
When your web browser like to browse cities, too
Darn, full schedule tomorrow too
Untroubled by the complexities of life
Yeah . . I’m 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 old. .
He’s cool
Grilling me softly, with his tongs
Give him the ol’ cavity search
Maybe stand out less
Pretty much how I remember it
Titan 1C 🚢
When reality outpaces fiction

Works every time

Works every time
I would retaliate with my own

I would retaliate with my own
Pass

Pass
I cut my own hair

I cut my own hair
He didn’t get the smile he was looking...

He didn’t get the smile he was looking...
The cat knew what was coming…

The cat knew what was coming…
Oh. Oh no.

Oh. Oh no.
He’s just made it through a hairy situation

He’s just made it through a hairy situation
Delicious!

Delicious!
Wait, no, nevermind. They ducked it up.

Wait, no, nevermind. They ducked it up.
He also gets tired really quickly

He also gets tired really quickly
🐓🍭

🐓🍭
I’m tired of knowing more

I’m tired of knowing more
And getting paid for it

And getting paid for it
When your web browser like to browse cities,...

When your web browser like to browse cities,...
Darn, full schedule tomorrow too

Darn, full schedule tomorrow too
Untroubled by the complexities of life

Untroubled by the complexities of life
Yeah . . I’m 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 old. .

Yeah . . I’m 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 old. .
He’s cool

He’s cool
Grilling me softly, with his tongs

Grilling me softly, with his tongs
Give him the ol’ cavity search

Give him the ol’ cavity search
Maybe stand out less

Maybe stand out less
Pretty much how I remember it

Pretty much how I remember it
Titan 1C 🚢

Titan 1C 🚢
When reality outpaces fiction

When reality outpaces fiction
I’m no fool

I’m no fool
Technically true is the best kind of true

Technically true is the best kind of true
Early medical diagnostics

Early medical diagnostics
It’s a tactical non-explosive flashbang

It’s a tactical non-explosive flashbang
You’re my friend now

You’re my friend now
Well, damn Debbie, you should at least buy...

Well, damn Debbie, you should at least buy...
Open the door you will

Open the door you will
I’m still convinced I can do this

I’m still convinced I can do this
Live action chess hits different

Live action chess hits different
She was inflatuated

She was inflatuated
*Sigh*

*Sigh*
Duh!

Duh!
More fun to do what you want

More fun to do what you want
I might have to start doing this…

I might have to start doing this…
Yup. Might be hungry later.

Yup. Might be hungry later.
What do you think, Brendon?

What do you think, Brendon?
Not the gum drop buttons!

Not the gum drop buttons!
Say what now?

Say what now?
The new rails are working

The new rails are working
It’s soooo tiring

It’s soooo tiring
Messing up the lawn

Messing up the lawn
Better not be

Better not be
Oh well…

Oh well…
Crappy directions

Crappy directions
What in the Kentucky is this?

What in the Kentucky is this?
I say, and it can be quite humerous

I say, and it can be quite humerous
Especially small dogs

Especially small dogs
Mama mia, it’sa crazy

Mama mia, it’sa crazy
Been looking for empathy all my life…

Been looking for empathy all my life…
Dayyyyy o

Dayyyyy o
Nana nana nana nana

Nana nana nana nana
That’s the way to do it :)

That’s the way to do it :)
Comes with limited musical options though

Comes with limited musical options though
Or the Wish version

Or the Wish version
It’s like herding cats

It’s like herding cats
Ba dum…

Ba dum…
Last one must’ve been in the attic

Last one must’ve been in the attic
How did i get that funky music stuck...

How did i get that funky music stuck...
My wife surely looks this way all the...

My wife surely looks this way all the...
Nope

Nope
Today I learned that lobsters eat teeth

Today I learned that lobsters eat teeth
The old magic

The old magic
Record me like one of your French drivers

Record me like one of your French drivers
I said too much

I said too much
Doctorate in BullShitology

Doctorate in BullShitology
Ah yes, an intrusive thought option

Ah yes, an intrusive thought option
“M”

“M”
And condescending. Don’t forget that one!

And condescending. Don’t forget that one!
Oh, y’know

Oh, y’know
Woah

Woah
Other positions are ok then?

Other positions are ok then?
Now that you mention it…

Now that you mention it…
NSFW -Language. Kid heard dad say this ONCE.

NSFW -Language. Kid heard dad say this ONCE.
Cilantro ruins everything it touches

Cilantro ruins everything it touches
Is his name David?

Is his name David?
Or a princess

Or a princess
You’re paying extra if your meds make you...

You’re paying extra if your meds make you...
Empathy

Empathy
But what if it also has a slide?

But what if it also has a slide?
Sam I am

Sam I am
Sounds about right

Sounds about right
Naughty idea

Naughty idea
Should’ve laid out the ground rules

Should’ve laid out the ground rules
Everyone seemed busy

Everyone seemed busy
Or I miss a spot and hear about...

Or I miss a spot and hear about...
Would a frozen spaghetti donut cool you down?

Would a frozen spaghetti donut cool you down?
Dessert pizza or desert the pizza?

Dessert pizza or desert the pizza?
Little swimmers finding the egg

Little swimmers finding the egg
That baby hits different

That baby hits different
Population per capita across U.S. states

Population per capita across U.S. states
True

True
Anyone else feel the same way?

Anyone else feel the same way?
I prefer the robot voice

I prefer the robot voice
Oooooone sec

Oooooone sec
My Best Friends – NSFW

My Best Friends – NSFW

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