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If you have too many books, you’re probably old enough...

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If you have too many books, you're probably old enough to hire movers

1 month ago 1 month ago

If you have too many books, you’re probably old enough to hire movers

by m4a4 1 month ago1 month ago

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That’s the way to do it :)

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Or the Wish version

It’s like herding cats

Ba dum…

Last one must’ve been in the attic

How did i get that funky music stuck...

My wife surely looks this way all the...

Nope

Today I learned that lobsters eat teeth

The old magic

Record me like one of your French drivers

I said too much

Doctorate in BullShitology

Ah yes, an intrusive thought option

“M”

And condescending. Don’t forget that one!

Oh, y’know

Woah

Other positions are ok then?

Now that you mention it…

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Another scorcher of a day in my area

Nope. You’re not fooling me with a baby...

Hint: Australian for ‘mate’ or ‘Idiot’

Nana nana nana nana

That’s the way to do it :)

Comes with limited musical options though

Or the Wish version

It’s like herding cats

Ba dum…

Last one must’ve been in the attic

How did i get that funky music stuck...

My wife surely looks this way all the...

Nope

Today I learned that lobsters eat teeth

The old magic

Record me like one of your French drivers

I said too much

Doctorate in BullShitology

Ah yes, an intrusive thought option

“M”

And condescending. Don’t forget that one!

Oh, y’know

Woah

Other positions are ok then?

Now that you mention it…

NSFW -Language. Kid heard dad say this ONCE.

NSFW -Language. Kid heard dad say this ONCE.

Cilantro ruins everything it touches

Is his name David?

Or a princess

You’re paying extra if your meds make you...

Empathy

But what if it also has a slide?

Sam I am

Sounds about right

Naughty idea

Should’ve laid out the ground rules

Everyone seemed busy

Or I miss a spot and hear about...

Would a frozen spaghetti donut cool you down?

Dessert pizza or desert the pizza?

Little swimmers finding the egg

That baby hits different

Population per capita across U.S. states

True

Anyone else feel the same way?

Anyone else feel the same way?

I prefer the robot voice

Oooooone sec

My Best Friends – NSFW

My Best Friends – NSFW

Reads in sad movie trailer voice

I’m going to need these

If a computer didn’t remember passwords I’d be...

The bed even remade itself

The bed even remade itself

How did she know??

Back hug

It’s called, ‘Keeping to yourself’

And always trying to ketch-up.

Just a little off the sole please

Close, but no cigar

The only way to ring is by ringing

I’m a level 9 administrator

I’m a level 9 administrator

Please install the app to request a pickup

“I’m not into pecking either”

It was worth a shot

It was a wild Tuesday at Olive Garden

Very straightforward

Supportive shark noises

Good ol’ Pavlov

Well, you cant say that you’re bored

Unless there’s food involved, it usually leans towards...

Don’t go on a wild B’rel chase

I miss 24 hour grocery stores. They all...

What a saucy experience! [Borderline NSFW]

What a saucy experience! [Borderline NSFW]

Those with erectile dysfuntion need not apply… it.

Just don’t sink it too deeply at once

What’s that gatorade bottle for…?

Sorry, we sold out of the Venus chocolate-y...

I could wear each of these in a...

“For starters, you’re wasting gas by not turning...

must.. hit… corner….

Actually, we’re not yet certain, they just generated...

It’s fine, the electrical wire should catch that...

We need to save everybody, now!

And the witch queen Liz Dexamfetamine

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Patch notes as follows…. uhh, hang on.

And now it’s time to show you a...

Don’t carry this picture across a particular border...

Specialist appointments

Going phishing?

Mr. Havachat

How true

I wouldn’t mind something about “crocodiles rescheduled appropriately”

I’m really hating the live action version, though.

I’m really hating the live action version, though.

Myeeeeeeeowwwwwwwww!!!!

Make sure they didn’t squeak anything important out

I can think of some uses for snow...

Not the right build for those tassels

Tried, in a court of slaw

Tried, in a court of slaw

More soup, y’all?

Once more unto the Bush

A lady in the Skådis, but a freak...

Another scorcher of a day in my area

Nope. You’re not fooling me with a baby...

Hint: Australian for ‘mate’ or ‘Idiot’

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