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Also known in North Korea as “Not Poodle”

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Also known in North Korea as "Not Poodle"

3 months ago 3 months ago

Also known in North Korea as “Not Poodle”

by Richard Rejmer 3 months ago3 months ago

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Googly eyes and intent to vandalise
Classic. Rock on!
I once had to try and get a rock out of a dog’s mouth.
NOOOOOO!!!
Oops, sorry, I think this was directed at me, not any of you.
Oh no, it’s contagious
I’ll have you know that Professor Meow has two doctorates.
Kids!
What is this, video game naming?
Yeah you’d BETTER walk away!
Pretty merciful, honestly
“Yeah but you should see the other guy.”
I just want to survive, please stop monetising things
I like subtlety
May the 4th be with you? Nay, lads… may the Schwartz be with you !!

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Googly eyes and intent to vandalise

Googly eyes and intent to vandalise
Classic. Rock on!

Classic. Rock on!
I once had to try and get a...

I once had to try and get a...
NOOOOOO!!!

NOOOOOO!!!
Oops, sorry, I think this was directed at...

Oops, sorry, I think this was directed at...
Oh no, it’s contagious

Oh no, it’s contagious
I’ll have you know that Professor Meow has...

I’ll have you know that Professor Meow has...
Kids!

Kids!
What is this, video game naming?

What is this, video game naming?
Yeah you’d BETTER walk away!

Yeah you’d BETTER walk away!
Pretty merciful, honestly

Pretty merciful, honestly
“Yeah but you should see the other guy.”

“Yeah but you should see the other guy.”
I just want to survive, please stop monetising...

I just want to survive, please stop monetising...
I like subtlety

I like subtlety
May the 4th be with you? Nay, lads…...

May the 4th be with you? Nay, lads…...
May the Fourth be with you.

May the Fourth be with you.
Must be a gas station

Must be a gas station
You have dishonoured your ancestors

You have dishonoured your ancestors
Self help

Self help
Well, that enough internet for today.

Well, that enough internet for today.
What’s got skill to do with anything?

What’s got skill to do with anything?
I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

I never could get the hang of Thursdays.
Me, but with doughnuts

Me, but with doughnuts
Must’ve lied on the resume

Must’ve lied on the resume
He chose the card of violence

He chose the card of violence
Me, as a sassy old person

Me, as a sassy old person
Eat the fries first so the burger isn’t...

Eat the fries first so the burger isn’t...
Hop to it

Hop to it
Mine always comes out luke-warm

Mine always comes out luke-warm
‘Fear and desperation’

‘Fear and desperation’
ALWAYS YES

ALWAYS YES
Ah, I chanted too much

Ah, I chanted too much
😐

😐
The ultimate bard!

The ultimate bard!
They were too salty for my taste

They were too salty for my taste
I can’t believe he hasn’t tried that yet

I can’t believe he hasn’t tried that yet
In this economy I would say $2.50

In this economy I would say $2.50
We should not have made this bargain!

We should not have made this bargain!
The broom looks more comfy

The broom looks more comfy
The mistakes are learning you

The mistakes are learning you
Oops.

Oops.
I have a golden soul

I have a golden soul
Make a note of this

Make a note of this
Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!

Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!
Spread the love

Spread the love
Oh, but I still get my pleasure. Still...

Oh, but I still get my pleasure. Still...
Let that one buckle in.

Let that one buckle in.
Ironic art is art.

Ironic art is art.
Just give me advanced warning

Just give me advanced warning
That’s a weird sushi lunch box

That’s a weird sushi lunch box
Obviously

Obviously
Let me be weird in my own home...

Let me be weird in my own home...
Camouflage tactic

Camouflage tactic
You lied… I am in jail

You lied… I am in jail
If squirrels were millennials

If squirrels were millennials
Pffft… as if those BMW drivers would use...

Pffft… as if those BMW drivers would use...
Feeding booths

Feeding booths
Apparently, ‘God’ has a plan…… *sigh* Please leave...

Apparently, ‘God’ has a plan…… *sigh* Please leave...
The sizes check out

The sizes check out
As fortold

As fortold
Waaait a minute… has that lamp always been...

Waaait a minute… has that lamp always been...
I don’t brielieve it.

I don’t brielieve it.
Exceptional roosters 🐓

Exceptional roosters 🐓
😴

😴
Veterans of Tazmania

Veterans of Tazmania
Pfft, 1+2+3 = 6 glasses of wine

Pfft, 1+2+3 = 6 glasses of wine
That is the question…..

That is the question…..
Not quite as romantic as you might think...

Not quite as romantic as you might think...
“There is always a choice.”

“There is always a choice.”
It’s too late for this Brian

It’s too late for this Brian
What an absolute dingus

What an absolute dingus
Shoot them both just to be sure

Shoot them both just to be sure
The real mastermind shows himself

The real mastermind shows himself
When your credit card declines

When your credit card declines
Thinkin’ ‘bout lunch.

Thinkin’ ‘bout lunch.
How emusing

How emusing
Steve is suspicious

Steve is suspicious
Can’t detain murder suspects without probable caws.

Can’t detain murder suspects without probable caws.
Wait, why?

Wait, why?
My favorite vegetable is Oreo.

My favorite vegetable is Oreo.
*Groans in wookie*

*Groans in wookie*
Hello 911, There’s a handsome bird in my...

Hello 911, There’s a handsome bird in my...
B-e-a-utiful

B-e-a-utiful
I’d be gutted to.

I’d be gutted to.
What’s the opposide of a green thumb?

What’s the opposide of a green thumb?
That figures

That figures
This person should perform in my local comedy...

This person should perform in my local comedy...
No need to remind me

No need to remind me
Does anyone have a preference?

Does anyone have a preference?
…Why does it have a trailer hitch?

…Why does it have a trailer hitch?
Looks like Grandma is gonna run over some...

Looks like Grandma is gonna run over some...
So, born in Wisconsin.

So, born in Wisconsin.
Along with avian flu, swine flu making a...

Along with avian flu, swine flu making a...
Well that makes sense.

Well that makes sense.
Retired jokes #469

Retired jokes #469
Looks legit.

Looks legit.
#Metoo

#Metoo
aaand today it decided we deserved some rain...

aaand today it decided we deserved some rain...
Paul Simon’s famous song about getting old. ....

Paul Simon’s famous song about getting old. ....
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