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“You’ll have to pry my rifle from my cold dead...

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"You'll have to pry my rifle from my cold dead hands"

1 year ago 1 year ago

“You’ll have to pry my rifle from my cold dead hands”

by perthaussieguy 1 year ago1 year ago

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I’d be gutted to.
What’s the opposide of a green thumb?
That figures
This person should perform in my local comedy lounge.
No need to remind me
Does anyone have a preference?
…Why does it have a trailer hitch?
Looks like Grandma is gonna run over some reindeers
So, born in Wisconsin.
Along with avian flu, swine flu making a come-back in Europe!
Well that makes sense.
Retired jokes #469
Looks legit.
#Metoo
aaand today it decided we deserved some rain …

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I’d be gutted to.

I’d be gutted to.
What’s the opposide of a green thumb?

What’s the opposide of a green thumb?
That figures

That figures
This person should perform in my local comedy...

This person should perform in my local comedy...
No need to remind me

No need to remind me
Does anyone have a preference?

Does anyone have a preference?
…Why does it have a trailer hitch?

…Why does it have a trailer hitch?
Looks like Grandma is gonna run over some...

Looks like Grandma is gonna run over some...
So, born in Wisconsin.

So, born in Wisconsin.
Along with avian flu, swine flu making a...

Along with avian flu, swine flu making a...
Well that makes sense.

Well that makes sense.
Retired jokes #469

Retired jokes #469
Looks legit.

Looks legit.
#Metoo

#Metoo
aaand today it decided we deserved some rain...

aaand today it decided we deserved some rain...
Paul Simon’s famous song about getting old. ....

Paul Simon’s famous song about getting old. ....
Projects

Projects
April 25th

April 25th
They’ve got me pegged.

They’ve got me pegged.
Johnsooooooooon!

Johnsooooooooon!
Unbunlievable

Unbunlievable
I AM THE ADMIN

I AM THE ADMIN
What do those quacks think they are doing?

What do those quacks think they are doing?
Only Justin’s will understand

Only Justin’s will understand
I want a barbecue squirrel now…..

I want a barbecue squirrel now…..
I wonder why they call him that?

I wonder why they call him that?
That’s the moment he knew, he f’d up

That’s the moment he knew, he f’d up
Sometimes you gotta light up their world with...

Sometimes you gotta light up their world with...
Ahaha haha ha

Ahaha haha ha
Jeff will never give them peace

Jeff will never give them peace
That’s what cats do…

That’s what cats do…
And that’s how the fight started

And that’s how the fight started
Both work perfectly

Both work perfectly
I’d say they handled it well

I’d say they handled it well
Can I get that last one on-the-go?

Can I get that last one on-the-go?
Thanks, you too

Thanks, you too
I am this goat

I am this goat
A surprise indeed

A surprise indeed
And that’s why I have anger issues

And that’s why I have anger issues
Trying to cheer up a sad friend

Trying to cheer up a sad friend
🔪🦆

🔪🦆
Feeling a little unhinged

Feeling a little unhinged
Ceci n’est pas une bug

Ceci n’est pas une bug
I’ll take the extra strong one please

I’ll take the extra strong one please
He was right there..!

He was right there..!
Hence the term ‘jugs’

Hence the term ‘jugs’
Abort!

Abort!
…I like being the wizard.

…I like being the wizard.
I mean, his armor has a skull on...

I mean, his armor has a skull on...
🤷‍♂️

🤷‍♂️
Life is soup, I am fork

Life is soup, I am fork
Probably should’ve been an email.

Probably should’ve been an email.
We know what you meant

We know what you meant
Meanwhile, inside my brain…

Meanwhile, inside my brain…
I’d watch that movie.

I’d watch that movie.
Ribbitting

Ribbitting
Deduct went through defense with defeat before detail.

Deduct went through defense with defeat before detail.
We should give thanks for what we are...

We should give thanks for what we are...
Not even death can change who you are

Not even death can change who you are
IPv6 compliant?

IPv6 compliant?
When crazy meets crazier :)

When crazy meets crazier :)
Hang 10, bro!

Hang 10, bro!
*Whistle*

*Whistle*
Gotta make sure it still works

Gotta make sure it still works
Fancy

Fancy
SOMEbody is getting grounded

SOMEbody is getting grounded
Well, I will try

Well, I will try
Again?

Again?
🔥_🔥

🔥_🔥
Ah!

Ah!
My Bad…

My Bad…
Ah, but you said WITH a horse, not...

Ah, but you said WITH a horse, not...
Patty cake, patty cake….

Patty cake, patty cake….
I need a scaled up version. For reasons.

I need a scaled up version. For reasons.
I’m even more concerned by that hideous pan

I’m even more concerned by that hideous pan
PREPARE FOR THE MRRRRPPP

PREPARE FOR THE MRRRRPPP
What do strippers and cats have in common?

What do strippers and cats have in common?
Worked surprisingly well!

Worked surprisingly well!
Bringing the problem into scale

Bringing the problem into scale
That dog is having the best day of...

That dog is having the best day of...
I’m going to pause to reflect on this

I’m going to pause to reflect on this
First degree murder

First degree murder
Clipped it out of a magazine

Clipped it out of a magazine
Thereafter followed a pregnant pause…

Thereafter followed a pregnant pause…
If you just walk calmly no one will...

If you just walk calmly no one will...
Express to the Lower East End

Express to the Lower East End
How ya dune

How ya dune
Give me the Beach Boys, and free my...

Give me the Beach Boys, and free my...
Fluffy companions of all variety are great.

Fluffy companions of all variety are great.
This palpably aged me.

This palpably aged me.
Probably still costs $30…

Probably still costs $30…
At least one of them goes splat.

At least one of them goes splat.
Something’s revolting all right

Something’s revolting all right
Yes, I was here first.

Yes, I was here first.
Tell me another storey!

Tell me another storey!
I should scrap politeness more often

I should scrap politeness more often
Yup, the penis mightier than the sword

Yup, the penis mightier than the sword
If we can have “Kung Fu Panda”, then...

If we can have “Kung Fu Panda”, then...
You won’t believe what he said when he...

You won’t believe what he said when he...
Arrows got an upgrade!

Arrows got an upgrade!

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