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Schrödinger’s answering machine

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Schrödinger's answering machine

1 month ago 1 month ago

Schrödinger’s answering machine

by Richard Rejmer 1 month ago1 month ago

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Friendly fire!
The good ol’ days
Monty Python were ahead of the times
Appropriately named
He’s sofaking terrified
Brb, gotta go get me a pretzel
Yes we are
The 1000 mile stare
So close
I know a guy
I have often wondered.
You’re welcome
Grab your popcorn, this is going to be good
And why does it smell so strange?
I buzzed your buzzer, why haven’t you answered?!
So, perhaps, ‘ Canoes = Kay-noes’ or ‘Volcanoes = Vol-canoos’, lol
It’s actually Sir Frank of Fieldberry
Teaching them arithmetic. They’re adders
It’s really not. It’s everything all at once
We’ll drive off that bridge when we get to it
If it got into my house, I would too
And why are cowards “yellow”?
Nah, they just called me weird.
Geez
It’s always Todd with his comments.

Friendly fire!

Friendly fire!
The good ol’ days

The good ol’ days
Monty Python were ahead of the times

Monty Python were ahead of the times
Appropriately named

Appropriately named
He’s sofaking terrified

He’s sofaking terrified
Brb, gotta go get me a pretzel

Brb, gotta go get me a pretzel
Yes we are

Yes we are
The 1000 mile stare

The 1000 mile stare
So close

So close
I know a guy

I know a guy
I have often wondered.

I have often wondered.
You’re welcome

You’re welcome
Grab your popcorn, this is going to be...

Grab your popcorn, this is going to be...
And why does it smell so strange?

And why does it smell so strange?
I buzzed your buzzer, why haven’t you answered?!

I buzzed your buzzer, why haven’t you answered?!
So, perhaps, ‘ Canoes = Kay-noes’ or ‘Volcanoes...

So, perhaps, ‘ Canoes = Kay-noes’ or ‘Volcanoes...
It’s actually Sir Frank of Fieldberry

It’s actually Sir Frank of Fieldberry
Teaching them arithmetic. They’re adders

Teaching them arithmetic. They’re adders
It’s really not. It’s everything all at once

It’s really not. It’s everything all at once
We’ll drive off that bridge when we get...

We’ll drive off that bridge when we get...
If it got into my house, I would...

If it got into my house, I would...
And why are cowards “yellow”?

And why are cowards “yellow”?
Nah, they just called me weird.

Nah, they just called me weird.
Geez

Geez
It’s always Todd with his comments.

It’s always Todd with his comments.
That’s you in sushi form

That’s you in sushi form
Next time

Next time
Such skill

Such skill
It’s true

It’s true
I always try to use the correct words....

I always try to use the correct words....
Alrighty then

Alrighty then
I know all the best reasons to hate...

I know all the best reasons to hate...
She misheard him

She misheard him
I should not have trusted that fart…

I should not have trusted that fart…
It was just a bit of fun

It was just a bit of fun
Maybe flip a table too while you’re at...

Maybe flip a table too while you’re at...
Sleep with one eye closed

Sleep with one eye closed
Almost did that to my last car

Almost did that to my last car
🙂

🙂
Please

Please
🥒

🥒
Rude…. but fair

Rude…. but fair
Darn, left it in my other jeans

Darn, left it in my other jeans
If I had to see this, you do...

If I had to see this, you do...
Didn’t even quack

Didn’t even quack
This casts a whole new light on darts.

This casts a whole new light on darts.
I like to tell dad jokes, sometimes he...

I like to tell dad jokes, sometimes he...
And that’s if they even notice you hit...

And that’s if they even notice you hit...
True

True
Or when you knocked on the door and...

Or when you knocked on the door and...
And a really curious cat

And a really curious cat
My wife and I’s anniversary is on April...

My wife and I’s anniversary is on April...
And probably more fun

And probably more fun
They had a brain fart… I think

They had a brain fart… I think
Just helping to clean the dew off the...

Just helping to clean the dew off the...
The horror

The horror
Asking the important questions

Asking the important questions
What did you call me?

What did you call me?
Weirdly specific kink

Weirdly specific kink
Careful… it may bite

Careful… it may bite
Lets not race to conclusions

Lets not race to conclusions
Just don’t put it on a pizza

Just don’t put it on a pizza
Would be an entirely different situation with my...

Would be an entirely different situation with my...
As per my last email…

As per my last email…
Why was frosting invented again?

Why was frosting invented again?
Garfield? I bet it’s Garfield.

Garfield? I bet it’s Garfield.
And I’d be able to go in my...

And I’d be able to go in my...
Granny, no

Granny, no
Now you know

Now you know
That’s what they want you to think

That’s what they want you to think
Close enough

Close enough
FYI

FYI
Gotta hide it in food

Gotta hide it in food
Say Something

Say Something
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you’re...

Every pizza is a personal pizza if you’re...
This is the way

This is the way
Too (candy) corny

Too (candy) corny
Took me a second read

Took me a second read
And the ball planets have lots of meat...

And the ball planets have lots of meat...
Ooooooh… that is just quite …………….. clever.

Ooooooh… that is just quite …………….. clever.
Everyone loves boobly eyes

Everyone loves boobly eyes
I would fully support this !!

I would fully support this !!
Mike’s looking suspiciously cauldron shaped…

Mike’s looking suspiciously cauldron shaped…
Some of these kids are going places…

Some of these kids are going places…
I hope he at least sang the Lumberjack...

I hope he at least sang the Lumberjack...
What is a skeletons favourite snack?

What is a skeletons favourite snack?
Udderly ridiculous

Udderly ridiculous
Safe word is “Jack-Ohhh-Lantern”

Safe word is “Jack-Ohhh-Lantern”
HalloWAT

HalloWAT
Had to take a 2nd look

Had to take a 2nd look
I am barely a night owl

I am barely a night owl
Enrichment “snow”

Enrichment “snow”
You’ve heard of elf on a shelf…….

You’ve heard of elf on a shelf…….
Old Orc proud

Old Orc proud
ǝɯoɔlǝʍ ǝɹ,no⅄

ǝɯoɔlǝʍ ǝɹ,no⅄
I just imagine an anvil falling from the...

I just imagine an anvil falling from the...
This is your drugs on brain.

This is your drugs on brain.
Do not invite them in

Do not invite them in
Some days

Some days
But Lieutenant Dan, you don’t have any legs

But Lieutenant Dan, you don’t have any legs

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