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God save the queen mattress

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God save the queen mattress

2 months ago 2 months ago

God save the queen mattress

by Shivvy bot 2 months ago2 months ago

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Nutcracker… sweet!
We all need at least one friend like this.
Well… when you put it like that!
Your reminder that if there are EVER popups on here, we’ve been hacked or something.
They always seem to gather in heards
Heeeeeere’s WAH!
These are the voyages of the starship endosperm
But wait, it has a subscription service where we’ll introduce those features later, maybe, for $5/month
BEHOLD! I AWAKEN FROM MY BEAUTY REST!
If he does that, he might be charged, with battery
Warranty void
You can’t beat a good hammer
You filthy mugger-plugger!
Or any science
I’m feeling pressured
At least he’s not picketing his friend’s nose
But what if I want to go outside?
It’s only when I want to be quiet…
My, oh my, what a wonderful day
I’ll take a whole jugemu jugemu of it please
You have been warned
A tragic family story . . .
The worst
It’s Uncanny!
Interplanetary Miscommunication

Nutcracker… sweet!

Nutcracker… sweet!
We all need at least one friend like...

We all need at least one friend like...
Well… when you put it like that!

Well… when you put it like that!
Your reminder that if there are EVER popups...

Your reminder that if there are EVER popups...
They always seem to gather in heards

They always seem to gather in heards
Heeeeeere’s WAH!

Heeeeeere’s WAH!
These are the voyages of the starship endosperm

These are the voyages of the starship endosperm
But wait, it has a subscription service where...

But wait, it has a subscription service where...
BEHOLD! I AWAKEN FROM MY BEAUTY REST!

BEHOLD! I AWAKEN FROM MY BEAUTY REST!
If he does that, he might be charged,...

If he does that, he might be charged,...
Warranty void

Warranty void
You can’t beat a good hammer

You can’t beat a good hammer
You filthy mugger-plugger!

You filthy mugger-plugger!
Or any science

Or any science
I’m feeling pressured

I’m feeling pressured
At least he’s not picketing his friend’s nose

At least he’s not picketing his friend’s nose
But what if I want to go outside?

But what if I want to go outside?
It’s only when I want to be quiet…

It’s only when I want to be quiet…
My, oh my, what a wonderful day

My, oh my, what a wonderful day
I’ll take a whole jugemu jugemu of it...

I’ll take a whole jugemu jugemu of it...
You have been warned

You have been warned
A tragic family story . . .

A tragic family story . . .
The worst

The worst
It’s Uncanny!

It’s Uncanny!
Interplanetary Miscommunication

Interplanetary Miscommunication
Not many people know – “Psycho” was originally...

Not many people know – “Psycho” was originally...
There are so many more letters in the...

There are so many more letters in the...
Be the kindness you want to see, or...

Be the kindness you want to see, or...
I think I’m having a stronk

I think I’m having a stronk
Oh, Internet Explorer is coming back?

Oh, Internet Explorer is coming back?
With a bike lock as a fashion accessory

With a bike lock as a fashion accessory
At a full moon, this ordinary looking house...

At a full moon, this ordinary looking house...
The process is called “enshittification”, as coined by...

The process is called “enshittification”, as coined by...
As my Great-Uncle Charon used to say, by...

As my Great-Uncle Charon used to say, by...
Θωθ, what’s this?

Θωθ, what’s this?
One’s for 6″ sandwiches, one’s for 12″

One’s for 6″ sandwiches, one’s for 12″
The flavour is jam forwards…

The flavour is jam forwards…
I am neither hot nor cold. I guess...

I am neither hot nor cold. I guess...
I think your mistake was a little earlier...

I think your mistake was a little earlier...
I didn’t spend seven years on an Oberth...

I didn’t spend seven years on an Oberth...
Nyaazda

Nyaazda
However…

However…
Sock it to me

Sock it to me
None pizza with left beef

None pizza with left beef
And it also seems to have A flat...

And it also seems to have A flat...
Luckily, if you get hurt in the mosh...

Luckily, if you get hurt in the mosh...
Oh no!

Oh no!
Get pickled, idiot

Get pickled, idiot
Why not both?

Why not both?
That’s a fun hike

That’s a fun hike
Please no.

Please no.
I’ll never not repost this

I’ll never not repost this
I have a collection. I can’t stop. I...

I have a collection. I can’t stop. I...
How rude

How rude
Release the river

Release the river
Surprise!

Surprise!
A typically Blonde song

A typically Blonde song
Uh, oh…..

Uh, oh…..
I’ll totally remember this time

I’ll totally remember this time
That is 80% prime humor there.

That is 80% prime humor there.
Talk about false advertising

Talk about false advertising
And I’ll be retired tomorrow!

And I’ll be retired tomorrow!
I might give this silly thing a try

I might give this silly thing a try
Being poor and unmotivated can be a lifesaver

Being poor and unmotivated can be a lifesaver
That’s more like it

That’s more like it
Why do people run from me?

Why do people run from me?
I bet I could make an entire shelf...

I bet I could make an entire shelf...
Meanwhile, in a galaxy far far away…

Meanwhile, in a galaxy far far away…
I think this model is the default these...

I think this model is the default these...
Or is it circular? “Got yer ball! ha...

Or is it circular? “Got yer ball! ha...
It’s a hoot sometimes

It’s a hoot sometimes
All hail the First Lady of Space, may...

All hail the First Lady of Space, may...
Tell me wye

Tell me wye
SCORE!

SCORE!
I need to know where this is, plus...

I need to know where this is, plus...
Cute accent too ;)

Cute accent too ;)
But wait, I thought we did have a...

But wait, I thought we did have a...
He’s such a *adjusts grip* cuddlebug

He’s such a *adjusts grip* cuddlebug
Play safe, and wrap it up

Play safe, and wrap it up
Ironically, he’s also a Doctor

Ironically, he’s also a Doctor
Ironically, she’s also a Doctor

Ironically, she’s also a Doctor
Actually, I’m feeling a little sick, have a...

Actually, I’m feeling a little sick, have a...
Oh my god I want to cuddle them

Oh my god I want to cuddle them
Mind the grape

Mind the grape
And there’s a million memes I haven’t stolen,...

And there’s a million memes I haven’t stolen,...
By the power of an unladen swallow! (African,...

By the power of an unladen swallow! (African,...
And the same to you!

And the same to you!
That ought to last a solid eight minutes...

That ought to last a solid eight minutes...
Spread the word

Spread the word
Like a pull-string mower

Like a pull-string mower
I’m not saying I’d have reacted better but...

I’m not saying I’d have reacted better but...
Great. Now there’s going to be ANOTHER rule.

Great. Now there’s going to be ANOTHER rule.
This only works on a flat floor

This only works on a flat floor
Is this a global error message, or user-specific?

Is this a global error message, or user-specific?
Hey, that’s TWO questions, and only ONE answer!

Hey, that’s TWO questions, and only ONE answer!
Smoked em!

Smoked em!
Yeah, that’s me lately.

Yeah, that’s me lately.
X-ray or menu, lol.

X-ray or menu, lol.
Scary!

Scary!
A fine howdya do

A fine howdya do

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