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Dad Jokes 32

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Dad Jokes 32

6 years ago 6 years ago

Dad Jokes 32

by m4a4 6 years ago6 years ago

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Jason Voorhees goes shopping
Waiting for breakfast (when the fish ain’t bitin’ there’s no use gripin’)
That it is
John Wick is also deadly with crayons and pastels
Technically correct.
Confession: while I was a bus driver, I ALMOST once drove into a field to chase a squirrel. Almost.
Cat ass trophy
Aaaaand, don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer of. On your way, kid.
Ashamed to admit I’m a phenomenologist, BUT, as one, I agree completely
I can not explain how this works but the mathematical progression pleases my subconscious
Funded by a federal Grant
“Temporal prime directive, I can’t say anything, sorry, just give me a replicator and a holodeck”
Nah, 5 foot 6 or so
Positively stewing
Wabbit season?
With many new built houses/aparments using hi tech apps for so many features, this is not out of the question.
And one last hallowe’en costume post for the road! November’s kicking off now, so gird your loins with happiness
It’s Tuesday, innit?
It’s gonna be a scream!… momentarily
For the Canadians: It got me correct, how bout you?
Skeledog having a great hallowe’en
it’s weensday
Chew chew!!
I’m paying HOW much for this personal trainer?
SHAKA, when the walls fell

Jason Voorhees goes shopping

Jason Voorhees goes shopping
Waiting for breakfast (when the fish ain’t bitin’...

Waiting for breakfast (when the fish ain’t bitin’...
That it is

That it is
John Wick is also deadly with crayons and...

John Wick is also deadly with crayons and...
Technically correct.

Technically correct.
Confession: while I was a bus driver, I...

Confession: while I was a bus driver, I...
Cat ass trophy

Cat ass trophy
Aaaaand, don’t ask questions you don’t want to...

Aaaaand, don’t ask questions you don’t want to...
Ashamed to admit I’m a phenomenologist, BUT, as...

Ashamed to admit I’m a phenomenologist, BUT, as...
I can not explain how this works but...

I can not explain how this works but...
Funded by a federal Grant

Funded by a federal Grant
“Temporal prime directive, I can’t say anything, sorry,...

“Temporal prime directive, I can’t say anything, sorry,...
Nah, 5 foot 6 or so

Nah, 5 foot 6 or so
Positively stewing

Positively stewing
Wabbit season?

Wabbit season?
With many new built houses/aparments using hi tech...

With many new built houses/aparments using hi tech...
And one last hallowe’en costume post for the...

And one last hallowe’en costume post for the...
It’s Tuesday, innit?

It’s Tuesday, innit?
It’s gonna be a scream!… momentarily

It’s gonna be a scream!… momentarily
For the Canadians: It got me correct, how...

For the Canadians: It got me correct, how...
Skeledog having a great hallowe’en

Skeledog having a great hallowe’en
it’s weensday

it’s weensday
Chew chew!!

Chew chew!!
I’m paying HOW much for this personal trainer?

I’m paying HOW much for this personal trainer?
SHAKA, when the walls fell

SHAKA, when the walls fell
Sometimes the best way is to do it...

Sometimes the best way is to do it...
I would have decorated the sides myself but...

I would have decorated the sides myself but...
Under common-law precedent, arguing the vehicle is incapable...

Under common-law precedent, arguing the vehicle is incapable...
Halloween may come and go, but pumpkin spice...

Halloween may come and go, but pumpkin spice...
Boning

Boning
But I refuse to put closed captions on

But I refuse to put closed captions on
Earning one Cestus-and-desist order

Earning one Cestus-and-desist order
Sometimes you just have to …

Sometimes you just have to …
There, house!

There, house!
Now do baseball, I dare ya

Now do baseball, I dare ya
It’s stuck in my head…

It’s stuck in my head…
Soprano bong

Soprano bong
Gotta stretch every dollar

Gotta stretch every dollar
Astigmatism. A-S-T-I….

Astigmatism. A-S-T-I….
HOSE THE DOG

HOSE THE DOG
Some days …

Some days …
I have about 17 questions and I want...

I have about 17 questions and I want...
Halloween is just around the corner… see any...

Halloween is just around the corner… see any...
There were empty food bowls all over the...

There were empty food bowls all over the...
I heard a sound! Must have been a...

I heard a sound! Must have been a...
We will make you go to a cybercafe...

We will make you go to a cybercafe...
My office, Peralta!

My office, Peralta!
Now just overlay some shamisen music…

Now just overlay some shamisen music…
As a fox, I confirm I’m such an...

As a fox, I confirm I’m such an...
Absolutely NOPE… but I am impressed in how...

Absolutely NOPE… but I am impressed in how...
[INFO] Regarding the PHP2Shell vulnerability: No breach known!

[INFO] Regarding the PHP2Shell vulnerability: No breach known!
He drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a...

He drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a...
Classic Halloween tune

Classic Halloween tune
Would you like a glove?

Would you like a glove?
It happens with old age and life experience

It happens with old age and life experience
Hey, how dare youtube call me out!

Hey, how dare youtube call me out!
A moment of silence for Professor Wilson, damn

A moment of silence for Professor Wilson, damn
Deep Space Bottom of the Ninth

Deep Space Bottom of the Ninth
Not shown: getting bitten and peed on four...

Not shown: getting bitten and peed on four...
I’m here to boil water and chew oats!...

I’m here to boil water and chew oats!...
STEVE DEAR GOD I’M GOING TO MAIL YOU...

STEVE DEAR GOD I’M GOING TO MAIL YOU...
No, tourists. . You can’t “Pop over to...

No, tourists. . You can’t “Pop over to...
“No, I mean it’s not for sale!” “No...

“No, I mean it’s not for sale!” “No...
Halloween themed B.Y.O.B.

Halloween themed B.Y.O.B.
I think you mean “buttermilk”

I think you mean “buttermilk”
One of the niggling little things that the...

One of the niggling little things that the...
Go, my minions! Distribute this image to all...

Go, my minions! Distribute this image to all...
You guys have a “roomba of thought”? I...

You guys have a “roomba of thought”? I...
I feel calmer already

I feel calmer already
Can you imagine, the nerd wielding an Atlantean...

Can you imagine, the nerd wielding an Atlantean...
Also, President of the local Furries Social Club

Also, President of the local Furries Social Club
Well, that’s my ‘To do list’ completed for...

Well, that’s my ‘To do list’ completed for...
Bulbasaur used GIGA DWAYNE! It’s super effective!

Bulbasaur used GIGA DWAYNE! It’s super effective!
*wood-block percussion noises*

*wood-block percussion noises*
Oh, you’re right! Let me get my cheque...

Oh, you’re right! Let me get my cheque...
Scan lines

Scan lines
I too am made of rice krispies

I too am made of rice krispies
I just can’t get around the corner

I just can’t get around the corner
Forgetfulness affects everyone

Forgetfulness affects everyone
Should have been listening to rolling stones music,...

Should have been listening to rolling stones music,...
Possibly useful for water derived magics

Possibly useful for water derived magics
…k..kibs… i’m sorry, i love kibs so much...

…k..kibs… i’m sorry, i love kibs so much...
Zangoose can do jazz hands?

Zangoose can do jazz hands?
That’s why I bought a powered chair!

That’s why I bought a powered chair!
Less of an Oxford comma and more of...

Less of an Oxford comma and more of...
I don’t know why, but this made me...

I don’t know why, but this made me...
The bigger they are

The bigger they are
Spy Eeee

Spy Eeee
The snails are doing well this year

The snails are doing well this year
Some days…..

Some days…..
Leftover soup

Leftover soup
🤷🏼

🤷🏼
Halloween stuff

Halloween stuff
Some may call it cheesy but this joke...

Some may call it cheesy but this joke...
Someone who get’s it.

Someone who get’s it.
I guess it’s time to unleash some Halloween...

I guess it’s time to unleash some Halloween...
King of the Jungle.

King of the Jungle.
And then he asked me to do it...

And then he asked me to do it...
Soup bowl plate – well I think that’s...

Soup bowl plate – well I think that’s...
Comfort food

Comfort food

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